35 for 35: What I’ve Come to Believe (Part 3 of 5)
Reflecting on 35
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My name is Tanner and here I post stories, reflections, poems, and prayers.
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As I celebrate turning 35, I’ve compiled a list of 35 truths, life lessons, and pieces of wisdom shared by others that I’ve gathered over the years. This collection isn’t organized in any specific order. Over the next 5 posts, I’ll be sharing these insights through a blend of stories, poetry, videos, and handwritten notes.
Part 1: 1-8
Part 2: 9-16
Part 3: 17-24
Part 4: 25 - 29
Part 5: 30 - 35
Let’s get into it …
17. A simple life is a good life.
In middle school I began to believe the lie that I needed to be a somebody.
Maybe I watched too many episodes of MTV Cribs.
Maybe I got caught up in reality TV and celebrity headlines.
Maybe I saw what others had and thought I needed more.
But I am beginning to see the simple life is the good life.
What a thing it is to see that when you don’t have much, you still have it all.
If you’re looking for permission, let me give it to you:
It is more than okay to live a small, simple life.
18. Grace is (always) for you.
My friend, David Zahl, talks about grace in a way that makes you believe the truth: that grace is for you. This summer Dave told me this about God’s grace: “God gives too much, too early, and to the wrong people.”
God gives grace like a madman.
Grace is wild gift, one much better than we could ever deserve.
It is superabundant and powerful as it turns our guilt into joy.
I don’t know if you know this but you can
slow down and rest in God’s grace.
Go ahead.
Open your hands as you let go of what is holding you down.
Close your eyes and feel the weight of the world be pulled from your shoulders.
Hear God’s voice as He continues to give you His good and perfect gift.
From now until we are home it is all grace upon grace upon grace.
And it is for you.
We can live in grace knowing it doesn’t end, trusting it washes us clean.
19. There is no such thing as normal.
It was in middle school when I first realized I had deep feelings and strong emotions than most of my classmates.
Especially the guys.
At the time it felt like a curse, but I soon learned that this curse wasn’t really a curse, but a gift.
I needed to learn how to take these feelings and emotions and turn them into words of hope and love.
My mind constantly wrestled with feelings and emotions and I just thought this is what everyone is like.
This is normal.
I am normal.
But I was not.
Because there is no such thing as normal.
Like everyone, I was different.
You have your kind of different and this was my kind of different.
All of us are awkward and different.
All of us are our own kind of weird.
Go on and be your loved and redeemed and weird and different self.
20. Become good at saying and praying…
I’m sorry. Help. I love you. Will you forgive me? Thank you. Wow! I don’t know.
21. It’s all a gift.
Mom would always say, “Expect nothing and everything is a gift.”
What a line.
And this life is just that: a gift.
22. Rest
Begin with rest. I always thought we worked and then rested, but when we put rest first, everything changes. Rest comes first. This holy act of trusting God can do more in six days than we can do with seven. Begin with rest and the rest will come.
23. You are loved because you are loved
Find a moment to remember and rest. Remember God and His grace. It’s for you. It’s always been for you. Hold tight the promise of peace. It’s with you. Remember you are not what you achieve. You are loved because you are loved. Open your hands and trust every need has been met and every prayer heard and every sin forgiven. What a God. What a grace. Remind yourself that even in this you can rest and trust and hope and continue. And you are not continuing alone. You are being led forward by the steady hand of Mercy.
24. You cannot outrun grief.
So, what do we do with our grief?
You cannot outrun what was never meant to be left behind, but you can learn to walk together.
Take your sadness to dinner.
Save it a seat at worship.
Introduce it to joy and faith and grace and hope.
Bring it to Europe and the Grand Canyon and family gatherings.
Welcome it to the table and give it another piece of fried chicken.
Learn from it.
Dance with it.
Write about it.
Sing to it.
Watch the sunrise and sunset with it.
Invite your sadness to coffee on Saturday morning.
And remember, you cannot outrun what was never meant to be left behind, but you can learn to walk together.
More to come soon.
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#19!!!! Embrace your weird self!
Man, could you imagine what life could have been if we could figure that out sooner in life? But maybe going through the struggle of having strong emotions and identifying who that weird self is, only makes the appreciation of it that much richer.
#24 - grief is not something we "get over". It is with us always, but you really do learn to walk with it. It's not easy and sometimes I'd rather leave it on the side of the road, but if I try to do that, I feel hollow. And it's not like you can't still live life happily when you have grief. It's just another emotion to learn to embrace because it's part of being human.